– Human
Today, we hear a lot of issues regarding our children bunking the classes, smoking weed and cigarette, drinking alcohol, having unsafe sex and committing suicide. There was a time when parents worried only about giving quality food and education to their children. But now you I see parents worrying about the above mentioned things. What is the reason behind this? Well, you can quote a number of reasons for this. Some say its competition and stress, some say it’s because of bad parenting and bad peer pressure and others say it’s because of bad influence of media (movies, television series and cartoons). And the truth is all of them are correct.
Though these things are true, you can always have a chance to turn it around. All you have to do is change the thinking of your child’s brain. You need to tell your child what’s right and what’s not. And I tell you, it’s not an easy task, but you can be successful if you have faith and hope. Try to create the bond between you and your child from the very beginning; and fill the positivity of this world in your baby. From very beginning, I mean from when your baby is in his or her mother’s womb.
Human Brain is the most mysterious creation of God. Till now no one could understand it properly. Brain of a baby starts developing when he or she is inside the womb. Babies can hear what you say and do react to the kinds of sound which they likes. I can tell you this with confidence because I know a woman who used to listen to lots of Tamil songs during her pregnancy. When the baby was born, he used to get cranky sometimes and this mommy used to play the Tamil songs which she listened during the pregnancy to sooth the baby. This thrills me because the baby is not from a Tamil family and still the Tamil songs calms him down.
Now I can tell you another story from the great epic Mahabharata. Most of us might know this story of Abhimanyu, son of Arjun, who learnt to get into the Chakravyuh(an ancient war technique) from his mother, Subhadra’s womb. You might be thinking why I am telling you this story? I am telling this because when next time you a see a pregnant lady, I want to you to talk to her about the positive things of life. It’s not for the lady alone; but it’s also for the baby developing inside her womb. Because the baby listens whatever his or her mother is listens.
The other most important thing an expecting woman can do is read out the stories from your Holy books. The Holy books, whether it’s Quran, Bible, Gita or Guru Granth Sahib, has lot of positive energy in it. It gives you faith and hope, and teaches you that whatever the extreme conditions may come, life will always continue.
By now your minds will be full of questions like, “why I need to tell stories to my baby who is still in the womb?” Well, I believe a mother’s womb is the safest place on earth and ‘Anchee Min’ said this in her book ‘Red Azalea’ -“If you can’t go back to your mother’s womb, you’d better learn to be a good fighter.” She is right about being a good fighter. There is lot of bad things going around the world, and you need to teach your child to handle it (or fight it) right from your womb.
Now when I say you, it means both the parents and their family. You will surely have this question in your head, that how can an expecting father and other family members connect with the baby in the womb? Fathers need to get attached to their baby in womb more than any family member. They can do that by talking to the baby bump of their partner. Some might feel odd, shy or awkward to do so. You fathers need to know that you have to create this bond with your baby to help him or her in future. Other family members can also talk (positive talks only) to the baby bump of the expecting mother. An expecting father has to touch the baby bump and try to feel the baby while he talks. Sometimes your baby will communicate to you with his or her kicks and punches.
Why am I saying the expecting fathers to create the bond? It’s because of this small thing I noticed few days ago. I saw a newly born baby (maybe of some 10-20 days old) with his mom, dad and a relative in a hospital. The mother went to do her checkup, leaving the baby with the relative and after 5 minutes the baby started crying. The relative and the father were trying hard to stop the baby from crying. But the baby was not stopping; tears were rolling over his cheeks and he was screaming loudly. After sometime, the mom came and as soon as she took the baby in her arms and called his name he stopped crying. And I was like, “What was it? How can he even know that she is his mom?” That was the bond the mother created with her baby right from her womb.
If the father tried to create the bond, which the baby had with his mom in the womb, he would have stopped crying when he was in his father’s arms. You will again have a question here – “How can I say that the father didn’t have the bond with his baby?” I know this because I read it in a book about pregnancy and parenting (Sorry, I don’t remember the name of the book. I read it long ago when one of my cousins was expecting her baby). There were accounts from the nurses of maternity hospitals. The nurses told that when the baby comes out the womb he or she is so scared that their heart beats goes up, their blood pressure is high and they are screaming to adjust into their new environment. The baby is then taken into the nursery and the father of the baby is called. The father, himself, is scared and confused to see his baby screaming. The father is asked to talk to his baby. Most of the fathers are so scared that they don’t understand what to say to their newborn. And when the father starts talking to his baby, and say things that he said to the baby bump before, like “I love you” “I am your Dad” “Am here” “You don’t need to worry about anything”, the baby recognizes his voice and he or she stops crying and the baby’s heart beat and blood pressure fall to the normal rate. This was the bond I was talking above.
Create a happy and positive environment for your baby in the womb and then in your home. Do communicate to your baby to know him or her better. Be the best parents and be their role models.
I am not blaming any parent for their parenting because no parent wants their child to take wrong steps in life and suffer, but I truly want you parents to know there are better ways of parenting. And it’s not always the parent’s fault when some children take wrong decision in life. Yes, parenthood and childhood, both are unpredictable. But you can be prepared for it and Hope for the Best.
(If you need to communicate, vent out, and criticize me for my writing or if you feel someone you love need Hope then mail me at humanatpb@gmail.com. You can also write to the Editor; he will put you in touch with me for Hope. And please do know your identity will not be revealed at any cost to anyone.)
