– Human
I enjoy watching young children below the age of 12. Their naughty pranks that make their parents go mad; their innocent lies that freaks out their parents; and their loud talks and laughter which make their parents to make them stay up in their rooms when guests arrive. When I wake up in the morning, children are off to their schools. (Thanks to the A & N Administration, now the children (also their parents) of schools in municipal area can sleep for 1 hour more). Some are half sleep when they are on the way to their schools, and some are hungry because they couldn’t break their fast completely before starting for their schools.
When you look into a family with school going children, you will see that what I said above is true. Every morning, half sleep kids are dragged to bathrooms; their mouth is stuffed with breakfast and lifted to their schools with heavy bags on their shoulders. Then when the kids return back from their schools, they are fed and put to sleep. And by evening they have home works to complete and prepare for the class tests if they have any. Then they are given some time for TV and then again fed and put to sleep. The next day everything repeats.
And if you look closer on mornings of weekdays, you will find a mom shouting from her kitchen or a dad shouting from his living room while watching his morning news to wake her/his kids. Why can’t you parents take a 5 minute break from cooking or watching television and wake your kids up with love and lot of pampering? I tell you it will not only give a smile to your child’s face but you parents will also have a wonderful day ahead. After all, what you parents want is their child to be happy.
When your kids come back from school ask him or her everything that happened in the school (Please don’t try this with your teenager, if he or she is not comfortable). This will let your kids know that he or she is very important to you and it will also help you to have stronger bond with your child when he or she becomes are teenager. Communication is very important for every relationship to proliferate. Talk to your kids to understand them better and let your kids do the same to understand you better.
Always try to answer the questions of your child. If you won’t answer him or her, he or she might find the answer from somewhere else and it might be totally different from the answer that you wanted your child to know. This happens because curiosity is most powerful in early childhood. Children below the age of 7 talks freely with you if inculcate the habit of talking at a very early age.
Remember, every child is different and is special. Never ever compare your child with his or her cousins or children of your friends. If you do so, your child will definitely compare you with his or her friends or cousins parents. And I bet that you won’t like it. Let your child grow into a different individual and try not to be like others.
Do you want your kids to live a better life? Then start talking positive things to them. You will be surprised to see the impact of the positive thoughts. To understand it better, you need to perform an experiment (This experiment was shown to me by an alumnus of IIT Kharagpur). All you need is an apple, two plates, one room and lot of talking for this experiment.
Cut the apple into two halves and place them on two separate plates. Name one plate as ‘Positive’ and the other as ‘Negative’. Place the plate in opposite corners of the room. Say positive things to the apple on the positive plate, like “I love you”, “you are very special”, “you can do it”, “nothing can stop you”, “I believe in you”, etc… and say negative things to the apple on the negative plate, like “You are bad”, “you are disgusting”, “I don’t want to talk to you” and finally stop talking to it. Continue this for 3-5 days and see the change. You will see that the apple on the positive plate will be bigger in size and the one on the negative plate shrunken.
The positive apple was loved and the negative apple was hated. The positive apple was supported and the negative apple was depreciated. The positive apple was resilient and the negative apple deteriorated. This is the power of our words and our thoughts and their ability to influence life and health. Now just imagine, what will happen to child’s mind, when you feed it with negative words. I have seen parents saying to their child (when they do something wrong) that “you are good for nothing”, “why were you even born?” I have a question for such parents, “Did your child decide to bless you as parents or is it you who planned to have kids?”
Another thing I have noticed in some families is that, when parents have fights, they take out all their frustration at their children. Every family has their ups and downs; every relationship has its own arguments. You parents have all the right to be upset with each other, but please don’t do it with your baby. And if you are arguing about parenting your child then please keep it behind the locked doors and strictly not in front of your children. This will make your children think that you are fighting over them and they are a problem for you.
I have a memory to share with you readers, when I was a 5 or 6 years old my parents had a terrible fight and my mom was talking about killing herself. I went into a shock. I used to cling to my mom during nights and pray to god for not taking her away from me. I stopped talking and I was sad all the time. Then my wise old man (Grandpa) came for my rescue. He asked me what about the issue? And also told me that God don’t like children who lie. So I told him the truth. He was so furious with mom that he told her, “If you can’t talk good then leave your child at my house and get out of here.”
But now we don’t find wise old people in the family any more who observe your kids closely (because we live in a nuclear family). That’s why we need to be more careful with our kids and we also need to observe them and understand their need. We need to build them resilient for their future endurances. And let them be one of their kinds. We don’t need another Dhiru Bhai Ambani or Sachin Tendulkar or Kalpana Chawla or Arundathi Roy (I can give a countless names here, but that’s not important. I want you to remember your child’s name and it to be written in golden letters in history). Let your children learn to live, let them know whatever life brings will also be taken back by life. Add a little Faith, Hope, and Kindness in your parenting and see the magic. You readers might think, “Why I am not asking you to add some love?” Because I know every parent loves their child. And now I just want you to be the Sap for your child and let your child bloom into a wonderful human being.
(If you need to communicate, vent out, or criticize me for my writing or if you feel someone you love need Hope then mail me at humanatpb@gmail.com. You can also write to the Editor at editor@andamansheekha.com ; he will put you in touch with me for Hope. And please do know your identity will not be revealed to anyone.)
