How Parenting Style Impacts your Child’s Development

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By Dr. Kavita R. Shanmughan (Psychologist)
Recently, while addressing a forum organized by UT Commission for Protection of Child Rights (UTCPCR), where eminent speakers and HODs of various schools of Andaman had participated, all were of consensus on one common reason “Parent’s Expectations” as a cause for anxiety among students. Why it makes the students vulnerable and forces them to think or take extreme steps in some cases?
Parenting styles have taken a paradigm shift with the rise of nuclear families, working parents, and biased nurturing practices. Irrespective of different socio economic status, parents now realize that life skills among the youths are rapidly growing issue. Today, the youths are more susceptible to take detrimental actions that not only hamper their self-image & upkeep, but also the family and society. Many will agree to the fact that youth’s needs, reasonable or unreasonable, are somehow fulfilled by their parents. It’s an irony that parents are under the wrong assumption that fulfilling the needs of their adolescents and teens, and providing them every comfort of the world is the foremost important responsibility they own. If not they fear to be perceived as insensitive and uncontended parents by their child and significant others.
Parenting is about handholding your child to understand the realities of life, differentiate between right and wrong, explore their interests, and spend life meaningfully. Further, refraining adolescent from the realities of life especially from knowing about socio economic status, parents capabilities will only lead to a disturbed family environment. It only takes the adolescents towards developing poor life skills and adjustment problems in their adulthood. Not only during infancy, your child is dependent on you in his /her adolescence age too. Hence as a good parent spend time with your adolescent as a friend who can listen, suggest, and share things which may help in your child’s development. Provide an environment where your adolescent can express the feelings, dreams and aspirations and seek your guidance to achieve the same. Do not always expect rational thoughts from them. Reinforce the good values you ought to see in them when they grow. Similarly, reprimand them (not physically) for the wrong actions. Besides, explain them how their wrong actions can impede their growth and future prospects. Give autonomy in the areas where as a parent you are confident to get positive results. Here are few tips for good parenting:

1. Everyday spend at least 30 minutes with your adolescent child to know what he/ she feels.
2. Understand and accept the mood swings and behavioural issues as that may be the resultant of hormonal changes.
3. Assist the adolescent to set realistic life goals and support them to achieve the same.
4. If neglected, may force the adolescent to seek support from outside world. This may have chances of taking them to wrong paths.
5. Give space and encourage them for new things, in chorus keep an eye on what they do and how they behave.
   For any parental counselling or youth counselling, you can connect with Dr. Kavita R Shanmughan (Psychologist and Director-Pratibimb) @ +91 9531856481.