Dr. Sudip Chakraborty
As a doctor we always search for explanation for things that fall in our domain. Here I would like to narrate an incident that has baffled me more than 3 years now and I don’t have any reasoning for it. Hope this article will somehow solve the mystery. Of course there is no denying the life changing perspective overhaul that the event did to me. Problems are now easier to solve.
Three years back, one day an elderly male patient was brought to our hospital in an unresponsive state, without a pulse and non recordable Bp. The man apparently fell while feeding chickens and lost consciousness since then. Immediately I went ahead with emergency CPR with DC shock of 100 joules. Meanwhile intubation and securing of airway was done. Encouraged by return of pulse, I went ahead and connected the patient to a ventilator. Everything went fast and we revived the patient. A diagnosis of complete heart block (pulse is inadequate to perfuse vital organs) was made by ECG. After explaining the relatives, immediate temporary pacemaker was implanted. Patient became absolutely fine with a good controlled pulse and Bp. He was taken off from ventilator and soon he was talking with the relatives.
While all these things were going on and I was preparing for pacemaker implantation, another person came to causality with an unresponsive baby aged 1-2 years. I gave a quick look and felt for pulse. Found him to be cold and pulse was absent. It was obvious to me as well as to the kids parents that the baby was dead long back and they want confirmation. As my attention was completely on my previous treatable patient, I quickly did the formalities. I then went back to my earlier patient and engrossed myself with his treatment.
Within two days, we removed temporary pacemaker and implanted a permanent pacemaker. Patient tolerated the whole procedure beyond my expectation and looked in great shape. On the third day, when the storm of emergency went away and all looked perfectly settled, suddenly a thought came to my mind. This gentleman was pulse less when brought, don’t know for how long. So what did he experienced in that interim state of near death? I casually went to him and asked.
He explained that he was feeding chickens when a voice that resembled his elder brother, called him. He stopped his act and tried to go in the direction of that voice. It appeared to come from a house with closed doors and a baby was crying infront of the door. He picked the baby, opened the closed door, dropped the baby inside the room. He saw his brother inviting him in. Before he could respond, somebody pulled him and he found himself in hospital. To continue the conversation, I asked who that kid was, he replied Varun (name changed). A relative who was there listening the conversation, shouted in horror “doctor, it’s the same kid who was brought dead to you while you were treating him and his elder brother died 30 years back”.
I stood there motionless, tongue dry and a chill running down my spine. All the nurses and ayah in that room were also shocked and speechless.
Somehow I dragged myself to home. For two days my thoughts were constantly oscillating between what he said and tried to explain the proceedings but in vain. How did he know about the kid and why he picked him, of all his neighbors? He was not told about his death by anyone. Somehow I carried out my duties and discharged him fine on seventh day of admission.
When he came for follow up after 15 days, he found me uneasy, infact the whole hospital staff to be spooked. He then gave me a quote; Death touches us all and smiles at us, all we can do is keep ourselves ready and smile back. He said every morning he prepares himself ready to meet death any time and lives the day as if there is no tomorrow. Since then, day to day struggle and source of tension of ours, looks immaterial and trivial.
He is fine now. He meets me once every three months with a smile of a man who has discovered how to really live life as it should be, unafraid of all the imaginary and anticipated problems that hound us.
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